Hopelessly Devoted
by Lotho's Cute Villainess Minion
Summary: Remus/Sirius. Songfic to 'Hopelessly Devoted To You' from 'Grease'. Remus thinks about Sirius after he is taken to Azkaban. ((Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, and I do not own the song or anything related to either.))


AN: This is a little abnormal for me, but I was listening to the Grease Soundtrack and decided to write a songfic to Hopelessly Devoted to You – slash, of course, because it's all I ever write anymore it seems. *looks minutely ashamed*. Remus/Sirius, because I felt like it.
    
    It's all going horribly wrong. I always thought, stupid thoughts, that nothing would ever break  
     the bonds I had with the others in our little gang. Nothing could ever break the bonds I had   
    with Prongs, Padfoot and Wormtail. They were the best... and only... friends I ever had. But   
    now... strong Prongs, and meek Wormtail are dead, and at the hands of... of my darling Padfoot.
    
    I could hardly believe it when I found the wreckage of Godric Hollow and realised that Padfoot   
    had betrayed his best friend, Prongs. I was shocked. The Padfoot I knew and loved would never   
    have done that, not to anyone. He was too kind for that. In betraying Prongs' trust, he had also   
    betrayed me. He had vowed he would never betray me like that.
    
    _Guess mine is not_
    
    _The first heart broken_
    
    _My eyes are not the first to cry_
    
    _I'm not the first to know_
    
    _There's just no getting over you_
    
    As I laid eyes on the maniacally laughing figure after he cursed Wormtail, I realised I wasn't   
    the first lover he'd betrayed. I'd been foolish to think it'd be any different. He'd had so many  
     lovers, male and female alike, before he'd started with me. I thought we had deeper bonds than   
    that, but he just discarded me and my trust the same way he always did with the others.
    
    I knew then why all his ex-girlfriends and boyfriends had so obsessed over him after he'd broken  
     up with them or started cheating on them. Padfoot had become such a huge part of my life, and I   
    had become so reliant on him. Forever there would be a huge hole inside me, my love for him would  
     never die but simply remain dormant until the day I died. He was just too special to give up. 
    
    _I know I'm just a fool_
    
    _who's willing_
    
    _To sit around and wait for you_
    
    _But baby can't you see_
    
    _There's nothing else for me to do_
    
    _I'm hopelessly devoted to you_
    
    As they dragged him away to Azkaban prison, I could feel hot tears in my eyes. A traitorous part  
     of me wanted him to come back to me, to tell me that somehow something had been mistaken and he   
    had never killed anyone intentionally. I knew, however, that this was completely impossible. I   
    had seen him with my own two eyes as he killed Wormtail, I knew he had been Prongs' secret keeper,  
     and so only he could disperse the piece of information that led to their destruction.
    
    Yes, I knew all of this, but something kept me from fully believing it. The last thing I saw of   
    him before they took him away was, in the midst of his maniacal laughter, a last sorrowful,   
    pleading glance at me. Even if it was pointless, and foolish, I knew for sure then, that I was   
    destined to spend the rest of my days waiting for him. There was nothing else I /could/ do. Maybe  
     he had not treasured our love enough, but I had, and the love that I felt for him could not be as  
     easily discarded as his clearly was.
    
    _But now there's nowhere to hide_
    
    _Since you pushed my love aside_
    
    _I'm out of my head_
    
    _Hopelessly devoted to you_
    
    _Hopelessly devoted to you_
    
    _Hopelessly devoted to you_
    
    He had discarded our love like a broken toy. He knew how much I loved him, and still he   
    carelessly threw it aside. Was I going crazy, to reduce myself to merely waiting for him when I   
    knew there was no chance he would, or could, ever return to me? Or was there really an inkling of  
     the truth in my strange premonitions on the matter?
    
    No. It was foolish to wait for him, and I knew it all along. A part of me began to hate him for   
    what he had done to me, while another part of me remained fixated on the point. I was head over   
    heels for this man, and although I knew that it was pointless to even spare another thought for   
    him, I continued to do so because I was so madly in love. It was crazy, it was foolish... but I   
    was in love. And unlike some other people, I choose to respect such feelings.__
    
    _My head is saying_
    
    _Fool forget him_
    
    _My heart is saying don't let go_
    
    _Hold on to the end_
    
    _And that's what I intend to do_
    
    _I'm hopelessly devoted to you_
    
    My head did keep telling me that it was stupid to keep obsessing over my Sirius Black, my darling  
     Padfoot, but my aching heart kept on loving him despite this. I knew it, I was only in for more   
    and more heartbreak when the end came and he had not returned for me, but I had to keep on going  
     like this. I not only loved him and adored him, but I was bound to him for eternity. After all   
    we had been through together, that sort of love cannot just be discarded.
    
    _But now there's no where to hide_
    
    _Since you pushed my love aside_
    
    _I'm out of my head_
    
    _Hopelessly devoted to you_
    
    _Hopelessly devoted to you_

Call me crazy. Call me stupid. I deserve every word of it. To keep clinging like this even after he had proven to me that I meant nothing more to him than a... a... an empty Coke can, or a discarded newspaper was crazy and stupid and any other words you could think up. But I _kept on doing it_. Why? _Because I loved Sirius. _The rest of my life would be spend kicking myself for this one stupid choice I made, back in Seventh Year, to try my luck with Padfoot. 

Then I realised that it wasn't mere infatuation... it was love. True love. I was madly in love, head over heels, smitten, besotted, fanatical, love-struck, obsessed with this man. I had thought my feelings were requited... but they weren't. And, powerless to do anything about it, I would love him forever and ever.

_Hopelessly devoted to you..._**__**


End file.
